Tarnished Icons: The Ups and Downs of the Wheaties Box

Everybody out of the pool! Michael Phelps takes a miss on Wheaties box immortality in 2009. This picture was on a box in 2004.

Wheaties is a breakfast cereal consisting of wheat and bran flakes that turn into wallpaper paste when milk is poured on them. They are manufactured by General Mills, the successor to the Washburn Crosby Company, which first marketed the cereal in 1924 under the name of Washburn's Gold Medal Whole Wheat Flakes. The cereal was a health food item that ended up a commercial success and, in some people's opinion, goes a long way toward proving that nothing that is good for you tastes good. Not long afterward, the cereal became known as Wheaties (the name was chosen by means of a contest). Wheaties started sponsoring baseball games on the radio in 1933. The association with sports earned the cereal its famous description as "the breakfast of champions," and a year later came the first depiction of a real-life athlete on the box. This was preceded by the picture of Jack Armstrong, a character in a popular radio serial.

Swimmer Michael Phelps, who won 8 gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, is not going to have his picture on a Wheaties box this year. You see, Michael, who was feeling a little stressed because of the weight of celebrity, was recently photographed smoking marijuana at a party. Michael Phelps is indeed a celebrity, and he is also 22 years old. He has been training as a swimmer since the age of 7, and despite all his media exposure, he appears to be very immature. He won't be the first famous athlete to miss adorning a box of Wheaties, of course. In fact, most athletes never have that honor, if that's what it is. Athletes who get their pictures on the Wheaties box are supposed to be role models, and a pot-smoking Michael Phelps doesn't fit the bill. (He has already been on a Wheaties box, however, in 2004, but he hadn't been caught smoking pot then.) If you want to be on a Wheaties box, don't be openly gay, don't be political, don't do drugs, don't gamble on sports. Or at least don't be caught doing it until it's too late. Would Mickey Mantle have been on a Wheaties box if it had been known how much he drank?

To get the facts straight, the first athlete whose image appeared on the front of a box of Wheaties cereal was baseball great Lou Gehrig. This happened in 1934. Since then, dozens of athletes have graced the Wheaties box, including Joe DiMaggio, Jackie Robinson, Hank Aaron, Chris Evert, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Pete Sampras, and Tiger Woods. In fact, so many great athletes have had the honor that you can't even list the most important ones. How about Babe Ruth, Arnold Palmer, Willie Mays, Jack Dempsey, Don Budge, Joe Montana, and Johnny Unitas? The entire Boston Red Sox baseball team got a Wheaties box in 2004 for finally winning a World Series. David Cone and David Wells each pitched a perfect game and got a Wheaties box. Some athletes have a moment of Olympic glory and end up on a Wheaties box, like Johnny Weismuller, Bruce Jenner, Mark Spitz, and Mary Lou Retton. Ken Griffey, Jr. has been pictured more than half a dozen times. Why?

Some athletes who have been enshrined, such as Lance Armstrong, Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, and Barry Bonds, have later had their images tarnished, and some form of drugging, whether professional or recreational has been involved. And then there is Pete Rose, who was banished from baseball for betting on games, or Magic Johnson, who ended up HIV-positive as a result of his hundreds (thousands) of sexual adventures. And there are athletes who did get a box, and it seems that somebody forgot about the role model thing, such as heavily tattooed, cross-dressing basketball bad boy Dennis Rodman or the incredibly highly-paid Mr. Choke-in-the-Playoffs, otherwise known as Alex Rodgriguez.

Why doesn't Jack Nicklaus have a Wheaties box of his own (there is a special edition box with a picture of Nicklaus and Tiger Woods)? I have no idea. Did you know that the real Mr. October, Reggie Jackson, never had his picture on a Wheaties box? Neither did football great Jim Brown. Too controversial? I wouldn't be surprised. And neither did basketball's Charles Barkley. It may have been the gambling and the barfights. John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors, both legendary tennis players, never made it to Wheaties fame. Was it something they said, perhaps? Wheaties paid tribute to Esther Williams, Ted Williams, and Bernie Williams, but what about Venus Williams and Serena Williams? Nope. Of course, you can guess why there is no Billie Jean King box, or Martina Navratilova or Greg Louganis.

The best way to get on a Wheaties box is to play baseball or football. Basketball does pretty well. Tennis and soccer are not so good. There are very few hockey players, but Wayne Gretzky made it. Many Olympic champions have been on Wheaties boxes, starting with pole vaulter Bob Richards in 1952. Dale Earnhardt from Nascar got a box, and so did A.J. Foyt, but football and baseball are best, even if you are forgotten soon afterward. Do you remember Johnny Allen or Beau Bell? How about Zeke Bonura or Tommy Bridges? Surely you remember Gabby Hartnett? No? All baseball players, all on a Wheaties box.

Maybe General Mills should forget about putting athletes on the Wheaties box and try honoring some real role models, like Jimmy Carter or Desmond Tutu. Or Mother Teresa, perhaps? It wouldn't hurt. Or how about Bill Clinton? Oops! Disqualified.